Tuesday, 7 May 2019

Crush vs. Love: What Is The Difference?

Got a case of the warm fuzzies?

There is truly nothing that can compare to the warm fuzzies you get when you have feelings for someone. It could be a crush on a random stranger that smiled at you in the coffee shop and then asked for your number. Or it could be your wife of 10 years who annoys you all the time, but you still love with all your being.

But exactly what’s the difference between love and a crush?

What is love?

Honestly, there is really no way to summarize love into one definition. But we will give it a try.

To put it simply, love is a deep positive feeling you have towards someone. It makes you drawn to them. It makes you want to spend more time with them. It makes you want the very best for them.

Technically, love comes in many different types depending on the subject. It could be family love towards your brother or a long-time friend. Maybe it is the love you have for your furry little buddy and all his puppy goodness. However, in this case, we will be focusing on what is typically referred to as romantic love.

What is a crush?

While love is typically a deep emotional connection, a crush is often a shallow and temporary infatuation with a person. It is usually based off very surface level information like what they look like, how you both order the same coffee every morning or the fact that she plays the guitar.

Crush vs. love; what are the practical differences

Now that we have the specific definitions out of the way, it is time to look at the actual differences. How can you actually tell whether what you are feeling for that person right now is love or just a crush? Well, here are 6 tell-tale differences.

How it hits you

Love is a slow and precise process. It comes slowly at first then hits you all at onc, and you are a goner. This is because to love someone truly you actually have to get to know them. I know you’re probably wondering to yourself right now, “But what about love at first sight?”

Well, I’m glad you asked. That right there is what you call a crush. It doesn’t matter how strong the feelings are or the power of your conviction that he/she is the one. Crushes hit you fast and hard so if you feel something that fast do not call it love.

How long it lasts

Remember the definition of the word crush? One of the key terms there was ‘temporary.’ That is a major difference here. This is not to say that love always lasts forever. Jeez, this is not a fairytale; it is life!

However, true love does tend to last a whole lot longer than simple crushes. This is because there is a lot of time, emotion and intent invested in making it work.

The driving force

Love is driven by a desire to be together through everything whether good or bad. At the very heart of it, all should be a strong friendship foundation which makes this perpetuating force work.

With crushes, on the other hand, there really isn’t a distinct driving force. You like the person for no good reason and will continue to do so until some random and almost always irrelevant thing stops you. Maybe it is how he ties his shoelaces. Or how she always sniffs her food before she takes it. Crushes are fickle like that.

What do you want from them?

With love, you want your partner to care for you just as much as you care for them. You want to spend as much time with this person as you can spare. You want them to be honest about who they are and open about what they want from you.

With crushes, on the other hand, you probably just want one thing; for the other person to notice you and probably like you back.

What do you want for them?

Love means wanting the best for the other person. Even when that means that you have to lose them, it means being ready to sacrifice your comfort and needs to help them achieve whatever they want. It could be moving with them to a new country as they pursue their career dreams. Maybe you might have to give up meat as she tries this new vegan diet she heard about.

With crushes, it is unlikely that you ever think of the other person’s needs. Don’t worry; this doesn’t mean that you are a monster. It’s just how crushes work. If you do wish them well, it is likely because of your general human nature.

Your perception of the object of affection

When it comes to true love, you do not see your partner through perfection filters. You see them just as they are; flaws and all. And despite all that you still want to be with them and show them as much affection as you can.

With crushes, there is a tendency to see this person as a saint. They can do no wrong. Sandals with socks? He makes it work. Chewing with her mouth open? Aaw, how adorable.

Bottom line

To summarize the difference between crush and love in one sentence: the former is a feeling, and the latter is a verb.

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Wednesday, 17 April 2019

Reviews of Best Relationship Advice Books

Read your way to happily ever after

The best way to learn about relationships is of course by experience. However, there is a lot you can gain from the input of other people. All relationships are different, but some of the experiences and challenges couples face are pretty similar.

One way to get this input is through books. I’m not talking about those lovey-dovey novels with cowboys, ranches and single damsels in distress. I mean a good relationship advice book. These are usually by relationship experts but can also be by people who simply want to share what they went through. Whatever the case, they are great tools for building successful relationships.

Here are the nine best relationship advice books:

Attached; The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find and Keep Love

Author – Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Niche – Singles looking to understand love.

This book is one of the best relationship books for guys as it takes a bold and forward approach to understanding how attraction and attachment works. The writers may have taken a more facts than experience-based approach, but it is still very interesting to read. It is particularly useful not just for men but for any single person looking for some help in understanding this whole love thing.

Get the book

You are a Badass; How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

Author – Jane Sincero

Niche – the art of self-love

For any relationship to work there needs to be a healthy dose of self-esteem in both parties involved. This book is a great way to get yourself here. Sincero takes a very lighthearted and engaging approach to delivering the gospel of self-love. She will have you crowning yourself queen of the world by the time you are done.

Get the book

Dumped; A Guide to Getting Over a Breakup and Your Ex in Record Time!

Author – MaryJane Fahey

Niche – getting through a breakup

Breakups are not fun for anyone whether you left or got dumped. However, I think we can all agree that the feeling of rejection associated with being the latter makes the pill a little harder to swallow. That is where Fahey comes in with her girl’s guide to getting over being dumped. It is witty and engaging while also emotional and encouraging; generally a great book.

Get the book

Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional abuse

Author – Jackson Mackenzie

Niche – Letting go of emotional baggage

Breakups are not the only things that hurt in a relationship. You could be in a toxic relationship, an emotionally abusive one or maybe you have emotional scars from some other event. Whatever the case, these all result in baggage that will weigh your relationship down. Whole again was one of the best relationship books in 2018 and will take you through how to get over this pain for a healthier relationship.

Get the book

When Sorry Isn’t Enough

Author – Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

Niche – fixing relationship mistakes

We all make mistakes in relationships. Maybe you forgot about her birthday. Or you lost that sentimental gift he got you. However, there are some mistakes where simply apologizing isn’t enough. If you made one of this and would still like to salvage your relationship, then this is one book that will help.

Get the book

The Wisdom of Sundays

Author – Oprah Winfrey

Niche – peace of mind before and during the relationship

The Wisdom of Sundays is one of the best relationship books for singles who want to be the best versions of themselves before entering relationships. It is about so much more than having healthy self-esteem. The book contains a collection of experiences in romantic and non-romantic relationships that will give you an amazing perspective on life.

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Love, Sex and Staying Warm; Keeping the Flame Alive

Author – Neil Rosenthal

Niche – strengthening a long term relationship

This one is the best relationship books for couples who’s honeymoon years are seemingly long gone. This runt is inevitable and if not addressed will leave your relationship dreadfully boring. The book gives couples tips on how to reignite the spark and keep it burning.

Get the book

The 5 Love Languages

Author – Gary Chapman

Niche – figuring out your relationship wants and needs

This one has been one of the best-selling relationship advice books of all time, and with the author’s revolutionary principles it is not so hard to see why. It is a must read whether you are single or in a relationship. It allows you to understand how you and your partner individually accept and give love. That way you will be able to accommodate their needs.

Get the book

From Stranger to Lover: 16 Strategies for Building a Strong Long Distance Relationship

Author – Lisa McKay

Niche – LDRs and international dating

For people in long distance relationships, the relationship challenges are pretty unique. This book addresses them in a great way ensuring that you get the advice you need to make it work across borders. The list arrangement also makes it easier to understand and implement all that you will learn.

Get the book

Final verdict

Each one of these books has a lot to offer you whatever your current relationship status or dynamics may be. You need to have an open mind about receiving input from strangers.

With the nine books briefly reviewed above, you can rest assured that there is real value. There is a lot of wisdom packed into every single page without compromising on entertainment value to keep things interesting. So pick one up depending on your current state and make life a little easier for yourself.

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Monday, 25 March 2019

9 Most Common Relationship Advice Questions & Answers

Learning from other relationships

Whether you are starting something new or you have been committed for years, the value of other people’s relationship advice questions and their answers is always helpful. Remember that despite the differences in participants, all relationships are more or less similar. Some other couple has faced the challenges you now face. Your relationship highs have been another pair’s good times too. That means that there is a lot to learn.

With this in mind, here are 9 of the most common relationship advice questions and answers.

Question #1: When is the right time to introduce your partner to your friends and family?

Meeting friends and family is a pretty huge milestone in any relationship. It shows that you trust your partner and the stability of your relationship to let other people in. One of the best ways to know you are ready is when you can see a future with your partner. The last thing you want is to waste your beau’s time or to get your friends and family emotionally invested in something you’re not confident in.

Question #2: What is a strong and healthy relationship in the first place?

You probably see a healthy relationship as one where you are totally in synch, never fight and generally have everything going well. That is more like a fictional Hollywood-created relationship than a real-life one.

In reality, a healthy relationship is one where despite all your differences you are willing to work as a team. There is great communication, personal growth and most importantly, healthy fights.

Question #3: Is there a place for gender-based roles in today’s relationships?

Here, it depends on your relationship dynamics. If you are a couple that believes in traditional roles then, by all means, divvy them up that way. If you have a more modern outlook, then you can split roles based on ability and availability. The important thing is to ensure that you are both on board and not feeling in any way oppressed.

Question #4: Is it ok for your partner to have besties from the opposite gender?

Having a partner with close friends of the opposite gender is always a point of contention in relationships. It stems mainly from insecurities and the fear that your partner might be tempted to cheat. It doesn’t matter whether it is physical or emotional.

The answer to this question is multi-part. First of all, it is ok only if your partner is doing a good job of reassuring you. There also needs to be boundaries set between these friends. It is also a good idea to get to know your partner’s friends as a way to get some peace of mind.

Question #5: How do you know when you and your partner are ready for that next step in the relationship?

It could be moving in together, getting engaged, buying property together or even having children. All these major milestones above all else require that you are both on the same page and ready. If there is even a sliver of doubt in you or your partner, then do not force it. You are not ready. It is also important that you both trust each other and have proven to be able to handle responsibilities that come with these relationship upgrades.

Question #6: How do you tell when a relationship is toxic?

The best way to tell is through your gut instinct. Plain and simple. If you do not trust it, then you could always listen to input from friends and family who have observed the relationship dynamic. Finally, red flags including cheating, any form of abuse and poor communication are pretty much neon signs pointing to Toxicity City. Pun very much intended.

Question #7: How much time is too much time together?

Being in a healthy relationship does not mean spending every waking moment of every single day together. If your time with your partner is hindering you from other responsibilities like school or work, then it is too much. If it is stopping you from pursuing hobbies and other interests, then it is too much. And if it is keeping you from family and loved ones, then you need to dial it down.

Question #8: How often do couples with healthy sex lives get intimate?

When it comes to sex, it is more about the quality than the quantity. That means that your bond matters more than how much time you do it. The goal is to make it as intimate as possible and not like a routine chore you need to check off your weekly to-do list. Yep, that was another intentional pun.

Question #9: How soon after starting a relationship is it ok to get intimate?

Now that we are talking about sex let’s tackle another very common related question. How soon is soon enough? The truth here is there is no solid timeline of the ideal time to get intimate after starting a relationship. For some people, it is as soon as they meet while others would prefer to wait until they are married.

What matters most is that you at least get to know and trust the person you are with. That way it is not just a physical experience but also emotional.

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Sunday, 20 January 2019

Is It Just A Phase Or Are You Growing Apart? How To Find Out

The slow fade

Do you know that fairytale about a love that lasts forever? The one where you have butterflies for your partner until you are old and grey? Unfortunately, that is not how real life works. The truth is that the butterflies and warm fuzzy feelings may come to an end. But do not panic as this is normal and if your relationship is built on a strong foundation you have nothing to worry about.

However, there are some cases where the inevitable distance is too much for your relationship to handle. The tricky part is figuring out whether it is a phase you can get through or the final moments of your union. Here are a few questions you need to ask yourself to help find the answer.

How to find out whether it is a phase or your last hurrah

Does any of you feel the need for more and more space?

Personal space in a relationship may be underrated, but it is very important. It could be physical space or emotional distance. If you or your partner asks for this, then there should be no cause for alarm.

The trouble comes in when either of you keeps asking for more space and time to be alone. That could either be a conscious or subconscious attempt to distance yourself from the relationship. That way when the inevitable end arrives, it is easier to detach.

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Are you using sex as a smokescreen?

Does sex seem to solve every problem you have in your relationship? Do you consider it the only thing that is keeping you in the relationship? If the answer is yes, then the chances are that you are headed for the end. Many couples hide behind healthy intimacy forgetting to deal with all the issues that drive them apart.

Are there pet peeves that either of you can’t deal with?

No one is perfect so there will always be a few things about your partner that will annoy you. Maybe it is how she leaves her shoes all over the house. Or it could be the old toilet seat up or down debate. You should probably start getting worried if these pet peeves you or your partner have started to seem unbearable. That is often a sign of detachment. You no longer want to excuse the behavior subconsciously, and you are pretty much packed and ready to hit the road. So if your answer here is a yes then this is not a phase.

Do you miss each other when you are away?

If your answer to this question is yes, then there may be hope for your relationship yet. It shows that there is still some emotional investment in the arrangement. You are probably still willing to work on it, and so the distance is a phase that you can very easily overcome.

On the other hand, if you feel happier being away and you dread seeing them again, then it will probably not be ending with happily ever after for you.

Do you understand the problem at hand?

The distance you are experiencing in the relationship did not manifest from thin air. It is usually a result of unresolved issues. If you understand the problem and you are willing to work on it, then your relationship is more likely to weather the storm. However, if you are still in denial of there being an issue or you do not understand it, then your relationship is probably on its way to being over.

Are you playing the blame game?

The distance in a relationship crosses the line and becomes toxic when a couple starts to play the blame game. Maybe you do not acknowledge your part in the issues, and neither does your partner. If this is the case, then it is unlikely that what you are going through is a phase. However, if both of you are willing to accept liability and work on making things better then it might just end up being a phase you will get through.

Are you willing to compromise?

Sometimes the difference between a phase and irreversible distance in a relationship is the willingness to compromise. Coming to a compromise might be hard, but if you truly want the relationship to survive, then it is something that you will have to do. The important thing is to ensure that both of you understand what the problem is in the first place.

Do you see a future with your partner?

The question is pretty self-explanatory. If you see life with your partner after this unpleasantness, you might just be dealing with a temporary issue. It does not mean that your relationship is guaranteed to last forever, but it is a sure sign of great things ahead. If you do not see a future together, then it is time to call it quits. There is truly no use investing any more time or energy as you have most likely already emotionally detached from your partner or vice versa.

The post Is It Just A Phase Or Are You Growing Apart? How To Find Out appeared first on Loving Community.



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Friday, 19 October 2018

Are You Showing Enough Affection To Your Partner? Here’s How To Do It Right

Don’t just say it – show it

Being in a beautiful and healthy relationship is one of the best feelings in the world. It’s like instantly everything in your life changes and becomes so much more fun and fulfilling. However, if you do not put in the work this feeling goes as fast as it goes.

To keep things going in a positive direction, you need to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. It is not enough to tell them what they mean to you. You need to prove it with your actions. So how exactly do you turn your unromantic self into the stuff of fairytale dreams? Here are nine easy starting points.

How to channel your inner romantic

1. Give genuine compliments frequently

Everyone loves to get compliments. Some of us even go as far as fishing for them to feel validated. Therefore, these should be a part of your regular interactions with your significant other. It is important to note that compliments should not be restricted only to physical traits but should also include things like achievements and personal characteristics. It is also nice to praise them for doing regular activities well whether it is cooking or tidying up the living room.

2. Show interest in their interests

Another powerful display of affection is asking questions. It shows your interest in who they are, what they love and what makes them different. Ask simple questions about what they are doing, how they are doing it and how it makes them feel. It will bring you two a lot closer than you could ever imagine.

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3. Surprise gifts and treats

The good thing is that you do not have to go broke when making gifts for your partner. You can make a small DIY gift that is cute and sentimental. But if you have deep enough pockets, then there is no problem in going all out to spoil your lady or your man. For example, you could use the Gift Delivery service offered by AmoLatina to send your partner a beautiful bouquet of flowers or a nice box of chocolates.

4. Romantic notes and cheesy love letters

Yep. People still do this in the 21st century, and it works wonders. A simple well-worded note could make the world of a difference in your relationship. So give it a try. If you feel that you have a lot more to say then make it a letter. The longer and cheesier it is the better it is for you and your relationship. So channel your inner romance novelist and make your partner feel like the most special human being in the world.

5. Make your beau a priority

You might have a busy work schedule or even an active social life, but these should never be an excuse for not spending quality time with your beau, whether online or in real life. You need to intentionally and regularly make them a priority if you want your relationship to not only last but also thrive.

6. Be present when you hang out

It is not enough to spend time together. It is more about quality time than quantity time. When you hang out, try to stay off your phone and be invested in the conversation.

7. Get as touchy-feely as you possibly can

Hug, kiss, cuddle and do whatever it takes to be as close as possible on a regular basis. That ensures that the chemistry doesn’t die out and that both of you get the assurance of mutual attraction.

8. Treat your partner like a king or queen

Every once in a while it is nice to go out of your way to do something extra for your partner. Bring them breakfast in bed; sponsor a spa day or whatever else it takes to make them feel like royalty.

9. Say those three magic words

Finally, do not forget to say I love you. It isn’t enough on its own and must include gestures. However, leaving it out of the equation is criminal as it is the one thing that set’s your relationship apart from any other casual friendship.

Conclusion

It is important to remember that these shows of affection should not be once in a blue moon gestures. It is something you should frequently do to reinforce the effects. Don’t worry; you don’t have to write letters every day or make them breakfast in bed as a daily routine. Unless, of course, you are a real-life unicorn and you want to do it. Just don’t space out the gestures too much. Strike that perfect balance, and you will keep things golden for a very long time.

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Monday, 11 June 2018

These Are the Reasons Why AmoLatina Is the #1 Latin Dating Site

When it comes to love, we all have our different tastes and preferences. Online dating goes a long way to facilitate this by providing access to niche sites. These services cater to your specific needs whether you are looking for a significantly older person or love on an international scale.

AmoLatina is one of the very best niche online dating services out there. It helps members find love and cultivate healthy relationships with Latino singles. So, if you have a soft spot for the exotic looks and that sexy Latina drawl, then this is the website for you.

Below are seven reasons why AmoLatina is the number one Latin dating site.

1. You can meet singles from Latin America

AmoLatina is a niche communications platform that helps singles find Latin partners. When you are a member of the site, you can meet users from Central and South American countries. These include Brazil, Colombia, Puerto Rico and other countries in the region.

Contrary to popular belief, not all Latin societies and cultures are the same. One of the best things about AmoLatina is the fact that it allows you to interact with Latinos from different cultures. This will give you a chance to truly appreciate how much diversity there is in this group.

2. Filtered searches for better chances of matching

AmoLatina takes a freeform destiny-is-in-your-hands approach. This means that instead of picking matches for you, they let you make the selection yourself. All you have to do is browse through as many profiles as you need to find that special someone.

This process might be a little long and tiresome. That is why AmoLatina has set up the filtered search option. Filters allow you to specify your preferences in different search variables including age, language, gender, nationality and so on. After you’ve set the filters on the website or the app, you’ll only see profiles that meet your specifications saving you a lot of time and energy.

3. Security and confidentiality is a priority

AmoLatina’s strict security measures make it not only the best Latin dating site but also one of the best overall online dating services. You can rest assured that as a member your security is the service’s number one priority. They have various very strict anti-scam policies and subsequent fraud-detection systems in place. These will help protect you from scammers and other fraudulent users who are on the site for the wrong reasons.

They also encrypt every user’s data and personal information. This will ensure that all your confidential information and interactions remain just that; confidential.

4. Different communication platforms

The amazing communication options also contribute to AmoLatina being the number one Latin dating site. Most other websites will simply offer you a texting platform. This significantly limits your interactions and might force you to have to give away sensitive information like home phone numbers.

AmoLatina, on the other hand, will offer you many different communication channels to choose from. These include Live Chat, email, and Video Vhat options. The video chat channel comes in particularly handy if you want to verify the identity of the person you are interacting with.

5. It offers lots of unique services

As if the wide variety of communication platforms wasn’t enough, AmoLatina will go the extra mile and offer you services to help make the online dating process run more smoothly.

One of these unique services is the gift delivery service. If you express yourself mainly through giving gifts, then long-distance relationships can be a pain. You want to spoil your beau, but shipping could cost a fortune. With AmoLatina, all you have to do is pay a small stipend and have flowers, chocolates and other romantic gifts delivered to them.

Another great service is the translation service. This helps bridge the language barrier allowing you and your potential Mr. or Ms. Right to get to know each other better.

6. Thorough vetting and verification process

This is meant to protect members from catfish scams in particular. Before a user is allowed to get started using the service, their identity must be confirmed. AmoLatina verifies profiles through credit card checks, ID submissions, and live interviews. Anyone who refuses verification or doesn’t pass the process will be denied access to the site. It is definitely a great guarantee that everyone you get to connect with is exactly who they claim to be.

7. Affordable services

Although signing up and downloading the mobile application is completely free, AmoLatina is a paid communications platform. This means you’ll have to buy a membership to access their different services. The site uses a credit system where you purchase credit units using real currency and use the credits as the mode of payment for different services.

This system helps weed out people who are not serious about finding love and settling down. Considering the services, you get to enjoy; you are also assured that you will get full value for your money.

Bottom line

Long silky locks, accents that will give you goosebumps and a chance to be a part of different amazing cultures… These are just a few of the things that you can look forward to in addition to finding love with AmoLatina.com. The seven perks highlighted above will also help make your journey as stress-free and exciting as possible. Sign up now and let this unique service help you get your very own soap opera-esque happy ending.

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