A bad case of the love jitters
When it comes to relationship problems, anxiety ranks very high on the list. For the most part, it is pretty harmless and will pass on its own. However, it sometimes becomes such a serious issue; it stops healthy progress for your relationship.
In this article, we will take you through all you need to know about relationship anxiety and how to deal with it. That includes its common causes and how to figure out whether or not you are a victim of the love jitters. That way if it is what has been cramping your relationship style you will know exactly how to deal with it.
What causes relationship anxiety?
It could be all in your head or founded on hurtful history. Whatever it is, thinking that your partner could repeat the mistake is enough to get anyone freaked out of their mind.
Abuse of any kind
Anxiety is also related to a history of physical and/or emotional abuse. In these cases, the fear is nowhere near being irrational as there is proof that things could go wrong.
Fear of losing the person
If you tend to get attached to people, then there is a risk of you suffering from relationship anxiety. More often than not, you end up panicking even when your partner gives you enough reason not to.
It could be that you have low self-esteem and you are constantly worried that your partner will leave you for it. Or maybe you feel inadequate and undeserving of your significant other’s love. Whatever it is, insecurity is a major culprit in this form of anxiety.
Anxiety and fear in a relationship are focused predominantly on the unknown. Inexperience plays a major role here. If you haven’t been in a serious relationship, you might not exactly know how to deal with the issues that trigger this response. You are also more likely to end up sweating the small stuff that other people might see as trivial.
Do you have this problem?
From the detailed list above, one thing is clear: relationship anxiety can happen to anyone. If you thought you are immune, run this short diagnostic test on yourself to be sure. If you have one or even more of these signs then you, my friend, are a victim of relationship anxiety.
- You find yourself obsessing over their every move.
- You keep picking fights for no reason out of frustration.
- You compromise a little too much because you’re scared of losing the person.
- You are an expert in overthinking and jumping into conclusions.
- You sabotage the relationship either consciously or subconsciously.
- You have irrational fears about your relationship.
How to deal with it
If from our little self-test you think you are facing this anxiety, then here are eight steps that should come in handy:
Talk about it with your partner
That allows them to play their role of reassuring you so that you do not have to be stuck in your head overanalyzing alone.
Get a new hobby, job or distraction
An idle mind is anxiety’s playground. Keeping yourself preoccupied means that you do not have time to focus all your mental energy chasing theories that may have no merit.
Address your insecurities
Insecurities are a part of everyday life. They are what make us human. However, when it gets to a point where they lead to unhealthy relationship habits and attitudes you need to deal with them. You can point them out to your partner, a friend or even a professional mental healthcare worker.
Get a second opinion
Sometimes, your anxiety is founded on rational fears. In this case, one of the best ways to confirm that you have a right to freak out is by seeking a second opinion. Share your worries with a close friend or relative and get their perspective. That way you can tell whether you are overthinking or right on the mark.
Turn your Nancy Drew on
A little tasteful sleuthing will also help you clear any doubts or insecurities you may have. No one is suggesting you get a creepy trench coat and follow your partner around everywhere. However, a little shallow digging into their social media profiles will give you a better idea of whether or not you need to be worried.
Don’t ignore the few things you like about them
Remember that it is not all negative. To deal with relationship anxiety requires you to learn how to focus on what you love about the person and relationship. It will go a long way to calm you down.
Learn how to trust
Sometimes all you can do is choose to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Trust that he means it when he says you are beautiful. Trust that she is honest about her faithfulness to you. It is up to you to decide whether or not you are ready for that.
If you can’t get over it, then move on
You cannot have relationship anxiety if you are not in a relationship. Simple math. If after evaluating your relationship and all associated factors you do not think it is worth fighting for, then leave. Nothing is worth your happiness and peace of mind.